> are ducks birds? :party_luke: 
> One person wishing to die at a time
-- :rach_wink:
>This is the end of HackSoc trashes a computer science building the night before an open day... 5
- luke
>Dan, can you tell Jeeves to get stuffed and invite Google back on to my computer please, because it must have been something to do with you. - Shirley Bailey.
:face-palm: :djab:
>Mum, you've accidentally installed a chrome extension that sets your default search engine to  - Me, in disbelief.
> Because he knows if they're likely to be home at this time
- :party-luke:
>your eyelash is a fundamental partical!
- @Wabbit to :party_luke: 
>There's too many Sams
—Sam
>I'm trying to print a knitting pattern from Kindle iCloud
- my computer illiterate mother
>Do other people fantasise about sex as much as I fantasise about food?
- Fromankyra
> I never thought I'd hear someone making a cutesy semi-romantic comment using the C standard library
-- :sam:
>it's going inside me
- dronk @Rach Arnold 
>It takes 2-3 hours. It's the Cold War, what did you expect?
- me (diddums)
> the "torment" button is a good button :jacob:
> The cold ones bring all the gembois to the yard
— @Kyra Froman
> It's so hot it's burning through my trousers
- :david-sunglasses:
>tropes are triangular, you heard it here first
- :party_luke: 
>it takes an awfully long Ring to make a long Gollum
- Luke of the Moll
> You don't get to learn -- @ddm
> "The Java compiler can bend me over and tell me what to do" -- @Luke Moll
> "Kinks are supposed to be shameful, so kink shaming is alright" -- @Bolt cutter boy
> Computer Scientists are supposed to be _autistic_, not _artistic_ -- @David Norman 
> I'm too slow tonight - @Adam Birtles ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
>pylint? Is that what you get in your pybellybutton?
- Joe Bailey (Lil bro)
> I remember when I first started to use PowerPoint and had rainbow backgrounds for everything. I should have known back then really. 
- :viking-adam: 
>You know what they say about people with size 11 shoes: they have size 11 IQ.
—:david-sunglasses: 
>Don't roofie someone with your saliva
—@Kyra Froman 
>how beefy are the cows in walmgate stray?
- :viking-adam: 
>he's a _nerd_. That's the joke. He's a fucking nerd. - @Wabbit, about :party_luke: , shouted across the kitchen.
>[picking someone up physically and walking away] is a terrible way to make friends. You talk to them and get them to follow you to the van
- @Wabbit 
>I should go home and get repetitive strain injury myself.
- :viking-adam: 
>I'm an admin, I can delete <#CAHQ22YD7|politics> 
— :jacob-dab:
> I'll stab him, he'll scream, you shove it down his throat
— :sdhand:
>Viccy being biccy
- :viking-adam:
>That was nothing compared to what I did with David
— :viking-peter:
>Sometimes I wonder if I really am a serial killer at heart
— :viking-peter:
>You might wanna buy a bottle of come on the way home
 - Djab's mum
> the cure for cancer is deleting object permanence
- @Kyra Froman 
>friends with a capital h
- buke boll
>Related, why is "penetration" a suggestion on my keyboard after "double"?
—:party-luke: 
> Just think. I am directly underneath eep at this point.
- :david-sunglasses:
> I've really changed in the last 5 minutes: I'm now _s e x - c r a z e d_
— :david-sunglasses:
> We would end up with a machine with infinite states, which, for a finite state automaton, is not a good thing. — :steve: 
> oh no, the _chonky_ bois are coming to town
 - :jacob-concerned:
>my problem is I'm trying to emulate natural language with a couple of if statements and four hundred words
- :party_luke:
>I don't care if I'm hungry, I'm making a Twitter bot
- guess who
>A good fresher is a scared fresher
- @Kain.Tenebris 
> I'll work it out when I get to fiddle with it, practically
- @Kain.Tenebris
> I'm going to call you Daddy David from now on
— @Jacob Allen
>oh yeah, porn is a thing that exists
—:charloot:
> I know I'm boring, it's a cool life
 - @David Norman
> _squeezes squeaky rubber duck_
> This is what I'm going to do the next time someone touches me
- @David Norman
> If that didn't confuse you, I don't know what won't — :mike:
:thinking_face: 
> I bet we've all had stalker on Facebook. I have! - :jj:
>George: the BBC's ideal mobile interview room
- :jacob-sunglasses:
>Anal crescendo - Lil bro
> why do we like Shivan Dragon?
- Adam
> because he's big and he gets bigger
- @Kain.Tenebris 
> a lot of bottoms aren't secure
- adam
>When I talk about you commiting acts of violence on the extreme end, I mean you asking Emma to do them - :viking-adam:
> Hey, my name's Microsoft. Can I crash at your place tonight?
- @Rach Arnold 
> when the 66 takes too long to come... so you do instead
- :david:
> david will be massive
- :kia:
> it's 17 inches so it's really hard to get one that'll fit
> When life gives you lemons, make rum
— Words of wisdom from :ddm:
>Is Matt doing a Charles
—@Kyra Froman 
>someone came up with it, in a pub, when we were drunk
- my dad, discussing the punny name of a philosophy blog he got an email about
> You can't just assume it's false because you don't like the numbers
- :ose:
>Don't trust me. I failed that mission
— :djab: 
>Please leave the condom on, because that's how I'm going to tell which one to take home
- @Josh Holland 
>so it's a Virgin copy of Carcassonne, but it's had a blowjob
- :viking-peter: 
> I'm going to do everything horny!
- :party-luke: 
>it looks like you're having trouble working that nunchuk. Would you like help working that nunchuk?
- Mii Music, supposedly, to :jacob-concerned: 
>I actually feel really bad for my supervisor, because they got me
- Peter :viking-peter:
>It's an important rule of electronics: you can never have too many flashing LEDs
- :mike:
> just pwm
> which I believe uses [general purpose timers]
> but don't quote me on it
-- @Kyra Froman
>stop being so modern Dan
- mum complaining after I decided to message her from my phone instead of writing a note.
> I'm [a] furry
— :jacob-sunglasses:
> don't discriminate, _exterminate!_ – @Rach Arnold waving a dalek wearing a pride flag
>I still don't think that terrorist top trumps is a bad idea.
- Lil' Bro
>uwubuntu
- :party_luke:
>Haha, I just said the term "man tail"
- :sdhand:
>punch a goat
- :party-luke:
> Ahaha! You were labouring under the misapprehension that this was the extent of the jazz to come.
> FUCK YOU, MORE JAZZ
- :party_luke: 
>2025 is in 2 years... wait I thought it was 2020
- :ddm_0-0: :ddm_0-1: 
. :ddm_1-0: :ddm_1-1: 
>death grips is the dark souls of the music world
> Who should be the first ones to be killed, to be aborted...
- :leandro: on the subject of deadlocked processes
> Selecting a victim is important
- :leandro:  still on the subject of deadlock
>I'm a sub. Dominate me, daddy OS
—:party-luke:
> I am the epitome of menstrual health — :kia: 
> Jacob did a massively long one — @Bolt cutter boy 
> I think I could crush some of your bones between my thighs
- Kia about DDM
>it takes an awfully long dimitar to make an autistic essay brief - @ddm
> It _is_ very strange that males have nipples.
:david:
> confederacy is where it’s at
:ddm_sleepy: 
>computers have seen the boob and now they're hard
:ddm_sleepy: 
>homestuck started as toby fox's...wait no, wrong human
:ddm_sleepy: 
>you're welcome to try spraying WD-40 on your dick, but in fairly sure I'm right and it's bloody painful.
- :sdhand:
>We went from a discussion about songs about fascist/authoritarian regimes to discussing a fascist/authoritarian regime... just via number theory
- :sdhand:
>[on 'LINDA'] did they forget the purpose of their society and just eat cake?
-- :party-luke:
> I’ve got him whipped
— :rach_wink: on :party-luke: 
> :rach_wink: on :party-luke: 
:smirk:
> This proof is by memes, but also by induction.
— :party-luke: 
> You’re taking this off
— :party-luke: to :rach_wink: 
>I don't know what I can't do with that, but I can't do it.
- Li'l bro Bailey
> ddm is a memier jj
— :jacob-sunglasses:
> "I'm so f***ing inbred" -- @Sam Hand
> "Fuck degrees" -- ddm
> Wow, I'm so hard! My name is 5 letters long - :jacob:
>I just want to buy my bleach and my pizza and go home
- :sdhand-concerning:
>not getting a masters is like downloading the KFC kernels club app.
- Andy Atkin
> If the fish is a way of insisting you're straight then you doth [sic] protest too much
- @Kyra Froman
> I would like to dough my nuts
— :david:
> If I were to die, my life would be complete
>speaking of jazz standards: "hey Google, play despacito"
> Luke's been pushing many things into Reggie's backend — :jacob:
> Mice should have balls in the middle - :mike:
>None of [HackSoc] are attractive
— @Kyra Froman 
>Jacob looks like a lemon
— :rach_wink: 
>Luke is york now
- @Kain.Tenebris
> absolute _cretins_
- @eep on @Sam Hand and @Bolt cutter boy
> I'm short, which makes me Kim Jong Un
- :charlotte-stuck-out-tongue-closed-eyes: on _the boys in Pyongyang_
>I gotta go feel up some calves
- :party-luke: 
>Anxiety is awesome
- :thinking_charloot: (not even sarcastically)
>One great big poly cluster... Of Sams
- :viking-adam: 
>we don't touch the wizards, they do their own thing
— :party-luke: 
>There's meat in the bun
- Duolingo example sentence
>that's a really big tongue
- :party-luke: about :viking-adam: 
>Adam likes meat
- @Rach Arnold :rach_wink:
> I have a fetish for jacob’s baked crinklys :djab: 
>Just the tip's fine
- :rach_wink:
>stripper David... wowza!
:george:
>If vegans don't want us to eat animals we should eat them instead — :kia:
>Luigi, go back to Italy! — :party-luke:
>Wow! Look at this Möbius strip-ass fucker. — :ddm: 
>before the night is out, little cook is going to beat tinky-winky with a wooden spoon
- overheard at our Christmas party
> I always get the name wrong, I say [GTX] 1080 instead of 1060 — @David Norman
> I'm putting it in 
:Alex:
>We were both waiting for the safety pickle.
- Lil' Bro Bailey
>If a tree falls in a forest, fuck off
—@Rach Arnold 
> I wouldn’t eat a human, unless someone offered it for dinner 
:charloot-stuck-out-tongue-closed-eyes: 
> I'm Press and Publicity officer, I can do whatever the F*** I want!
 - :george:
> Do we have a manifesto but for a meeting?
— :party-luke:
> Let's look in the bunny's hole
— :jacob-concerned:
>I can't afford to talk to you now without fearing it'll end up in <#C82CX5G7N|quotes> 
— @Kyra Froman 
> When are we having the group orgy
- Person in my HACS group asking the real questions
>I was sat here revising POPL, when Dan and Jacob started arguing about referential transparency. - :viking-peter:
> COCO is going to be fun
 - @Kyra Froman
> Crispin Bailey? More like Crispin Bae-ley
— :david:
> I registered your presence ... then I went back to looking at my phone.
— :david-sunglasses:
> daddy mike
— :party-luke:
>star wars needs to be more inbred
- :party_luke:
>:musical_note: Happy Birthday'nt to you
– :owl:
>hacksoc hq
>HackQuarters
- :aaron:
>Alternatively.........go into crimes
- :sdhand:
> I need to stop instinctively swearing all the time. Fuck.
- Emma
>Back at it again with the black cock
:ddm_0-0::ddm_0-1: 
:ddm_1-0::ddm_1-1:
>im a fucking fuck lord mcfucker
- grog
>hecccccckp 
-- :ddm:
> I've got Skittles in my mouth, wanna taste the rainbow?
 - :rach_wink:
>If you're living off orgasmic energy, can't be pickers and choosers
— :party-luke:
>It is currently still today
- :sam: 
> it's depressing and then it becomes a joke
> That's life.
:jacob-dab: 
>just dab on the sadness.
- also :jacob-sunglasses: 
> mood
Me rn
>I like to stroke it when it's bulgee
- djab's lil' bro
> Just get the turd, and polish it later
^ Lil' Bro
>My favourite dog is... * proceeds to list ten different dogs *
djab's sister
>guinness is like the same as bread
- sodhond
>you're watching bitchin' kitchens with Nick Knowles
- ddm
>I'm pretty sure you and I are going to sleep in a bed
—diddums to Luke
>I had a thought in my head and then you showed me a duck centipede
- :kma:
>because we stared at alex's heart together?
- @Kain.Tenebris
>I was just trying to find the hole. Sometimes you miss and bad things happen.
- :party_luke:
>Jacob, again, is wrong
—Luke
> It's another kink he has: misleading freshers
:party_luke:
>Oh, it's David porn
— @Kyra Froman
>This lecture theatre's horrific. You actually have to focus on the lecturer sometimes.
— :sam:
> We won't finish the [70cl bottle of 18% tonight
-- me, 20:53
>if being gay was a choice I'd fucking choose it
- @Sam Hand 
>Necrophilia? Did someone say my kink?!
— :party-luke: 
> "Oh, you got fuck"
 - @Adam Birtles to @Kyra Froman
>you’ve been penetrated by light
- @Wabbit
> When people don't listen to Jesus, we'll send in the weapons
— :kia: would make a good conquistador
> Willy’s back and bigger than ever 
:sam: 
> I got a square dick
- :Rach:
> Everyone likes it when you... — @Sam Hand stopping himself from almost saying something harsh to @Jacob Allen

> Everyone likes it when you don't talk for hours on end — @Jacob Allen completing @Sam Hand
>what it feels like to be a CS student - everything is red and there's constant screaming
:party-luke:
>Why are you taking fashion advice from a parody of a fashion show that appeared on doctor who a decade ago?
- :sdhand: , to :party-luke: , quite reasonably
> I WANNA SEE THE EMPEROR'S DONG
me
>I've never had a boner from talking about philosophy before
- :rach_wink: 
> just put it in your mouth, forget it's there, and take a sip of water
:sdhand: on how to swallow
> I never have a pitiful amount of ejaculate
 - :sam:
> I'm mum now, _bitch_
- :sam:
> old man magoo, who's never gonna be king
- :ddm_0-1: WRT Prince Charles
> Debt and death: that's basically university - @David Norman
> I'd definitely get David tattooed on my ballsack
— :enticing0::enticing1::enticing2::enticing3::enticing4:
>I can't fit my fingers in
- :viking-peter: 
>they [the government] have made a right arse of breakfast. ... I mean Brexit.
- djab's mum
> I opened my legs, and Luke went down
- :rach_wink: 
> do you guys have bad eyesight or something?
- :ose: to :thinking_charloot: and :party_luke:
> the boys with the cars [referring to ETAS]
- :party-luke:
>I'm not a member of committee anymore so I can show a porn film at film night right
- sdh
>Crispy bacon is currently getting... served...
:david-sunglasses:
>Can you imagine if we could milk chickens? ... You could have one magical animal!
— Luke
> this would be a lot easier if you were familiar with the genitalia of dogs
- @Jacob Allen
> So we are like sleeping beauty wait()ing unless someone wakes us up, waiting for our prince to notify().
- :frank: on synchronisation
>ddm: double dick man
— :party-luke:
> pay attention to me, not star wars memes
:kia: to :thinking_eli:
>Would you like to _see_ my sausage casserole
 - David :david:
>Luke, you're getting more and more vigorous :anguished:
—:jacob-sunglasses: 
> it's a beautiful day outside
> Birds are singing, flowers are blooming
>On days like this
>Kids like *you*
>Should be WORKING IN LABS

- @Kain.Tenebris to yours truly
> Don't huff strings, strings aren't good for huffing. Huff cocaine instead
 - @Kyra Froman
>like a bmw i7....wait, that's an Intel chip
- :djab:
>You fetishize the abstract
- :sdhand:
>I would take any other hole first
— :sdhand: 
>has Jacob got like, a really tiny... case?
- :party-luke:
> all comfortables are unhelmet
>It's like the cups and balls magic trick mixed with Russian roulette, but with snakes
- sdhand
> we're drinking from the carton tonight bois — @David Norman 
>"LLVM to iOS Siri Workflows"
Aaron
>Speaking of blood, where's Emma?
- :sdhand: 
> it's longer than you expect - @Sam Hand 
>chess is the dark souls of board games
- me
>do they sell bread in the vending machines?
- @Daniel Bailey
>motorised Lego robotic dildo
 - @Luke Moll 
>It's not alcoholism, it's a hobby
—:sam: 
> I once bungee jumped with my dick alone
— :ddm_sleepy:
>so yay, genocide!
- :viking-adam:
> to be fully compliant with VGA, we'd need SD cards with screws
- :Aaron:
>You are right, toilet called restrooms. I said toilet called restaurant.
- 香香
> now I'm not into dildos but _that's_ amazing
- :thinking_froman: when showed what :rach_wink: got me for Valentine's
>Aaaa. My butt went ding.
- :rach_wink:
> Your parents need to be less successful - @Jacob Allen 
> why can't we just cut people open? — @Adam Birtles 
> FetSoc has nothing on us
- :david-sunglasses: on HackSoc
> my nipples are a bit scratchy - ddm
> Yeah that's good
>this is hacksoc driving school 2
- :party_luke:
> continuous mating is good - @Daniel Bailey, repeatedly mating some XLR connectors
>I still contend that being in the row makes Luke and David suspect
-- :viking-adam:
> If your balls start to drop, you know you're in a hot area - :mike:
> I'll try to be gentle with you - :jj:
> I can do it with one hand and a keyboard.
— @Luke Moll
> Watches used to be round because time is round
— @Kyra Froman :thonk:
> I'm not fucking.. I mean I am drunk but....
- ddm